Contributor: Michael Avalos
Top Shelf Pre-Roll (Strawberry)
Wax Pre-Roll (Peach)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Light Club. We match two pre-rolled joints against each other in a head-to-head smokedown. Both will be lit. Only one will win.
As we’ve said many times before, we love a good pre-roll. And sometimes, yeah, we like to spice it up a bit. While we don’t normally mess around with adding wax or kief to our plant, it’s a fairly common practice when trying to craft the ultimate pre-roll that delivers the “most bang for your buck.”
It all sounds like a great idea, but we always wondered: Does it really make a big difference?
So we decided, on our last visit to Nurple Purps (4716 Melrose Ave, LA, CA 90029), that we would throw down on a couple of pre-rolls just to see them throw down against each other in our latest Battle of the Blessed.
Now, Nurple Purps is one of our favorite shops because they carry a small selection of really choice stuff. Which is why we grabbed two joints that felt evenly matched against one another — their Top Shelf Strawberry pre-roll, and their Wax-dipped Peach flavored pre-roll.
This joint is a monster. It’s got a fully-packed cone, and comes covered with a dusting of green kief.
It also smells a lot like strawberry. We must admit, our eyes lit up when we pulled this guy out of the package.
Our Bic lit up soon after, as we eagerly set this joint ablaze and started to smoke. We don’t know what kind of magic was used in the production of this strain, but the taste we got while we smoked was undeniably the taste of Smuckers Strawberry Jam. Our favorite jam!
When it comes to this joint, we wish that everything was as strong as the taste. The high we got off this big joint was actually pretty mild. We weren’t feeling it at first, so we kept puffing away, waiting for the feeling to arrive.
When we did start to feel something, it was mostly a body buzz that did very little for our brainwaves. Since these joints were classified by flavor and not by strain, we weren’t sure which end of the spectrum to expect our high to appear on.
Ultimately, we decided that this was probably a Sativa-leaning high, but couldn’t be sure if the joint had been packed with one strain, or filled with the leftovers of several others. By the end of the joint, we were feeling stoned, but it took the whole pre-roll for us to feel anything. That’s not a good sign, and we came away disappointed.
While the looks of this joint got our hopes up, the execution left a lot to be desired. We came looking for a strong high, and all we got was some strawberry-flavored smoke that put us into a mild daze. When joints like these don’t deliver what they promise, we have a hard time considering them anything but a novelty item.
Once again, our match comes down to a big guy versus a little guy. This snub-nosed cone was dipped in wax, then covered with kief for good measure. The selection was by flavor (again), instead of strain. So, we chose a nice Peach varietal to smoke up on this occasion.
Things got off to a rocky start with this joint. We had a difficult time removing it from its packaging. The stickiness from the wax had gotten the joint stuck to the side of its glass tube. We required a pair of tweezers to remove it. Besides the sticky exterior, the paper itself was overly slick along the tip, making us afraid that it would slip right out of our fingers, as we handled it.
Meh. The scent profile of this pre-roll didn’t really do much for us. Yes, there was a slight hint of peach to be detected on every sniff. But it wasn’t nearly as strong as we had hoped it would be.
So far, this joint has been both too sticky and too slick. As we started to smoke it, we definitely tasted a strong peach flavor that didn’t overwhelm us. We puffed cautiously to avoid coughing from this fully-loaded concoction. And, like many other small joints we’ve smoked, this one burned evenly, and much slower than we anticipated.
While we were enjoying our smoke session, the one thing we were not feeling was stoned. This seemed to fail in a very significant way. Once again, the hype has let us down. A little after halfway through the joint, we finally started to feel the effects.
This was most likely a Hybrid offering, because it made our minds mellow, while it loosened up our bodies. As we walked around and tried to execute simple tasks, we felt a little like the rubber-limbed Charlie Chaplin walking a razor’s edge between order and slapstick calamity.
This joint made us feel a bit clumsier than usual, to be honest. It was an enjoyable, goofy feeling, and we were ultimately satisfied. However, we still couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed by this wax-dipped joint.
We thought that dipping a joint in wax and covering it in kief would really light our brains on fire. But this smoke was so smooth that we felt like a bunch of metalheads who had wandered into a Kenny G concert — out of place and unhappy about it.
And the winner is…
…Top Shelf (Strawberry)
To be honest, neither one of these joints really satisfied us. We bought into the hype of a loaded-up joint, but came away disappointed because, at the end of the day, there really is no substitute for good papers and quality weed. Anything else is just window dressing. That’s our opinion anyway, and we’re sticking to it.