SoCal White Lightning
Strain: SoCal White Lightning - Hybrid
Producer: Greenhouse Herbal
Contributor: Olive Hardy
SoCal White Lightning
One of our dream jobs has always been “Prohibition-era Moonshine Bootlegger.”
Bootleggers would brew their “White Lightning” (slang for moonshine) in secret, and hire drivers to transport the hooch using revved-up cars, all while outrunning the Treasury Agents (or “revenuers”) who were tasked with trying to chase them down.
So, when we saw this strain, SoCal White Lightning, we had to give it a shot. We were only sorry that we couldn’t race down thunder road at that very moment to pick up our purchase.
This Kermit the Frog-shaded plant comes loaded with big, whopping crystals dusted all over the surface. The buds had a healthy look, but the actual pods themselves arrived to us inside a vacuum-sealed pouch, and they looked like they had been flattened out somewhere along the way. This is, by no means, a dealbreaker, but it does diminish the beauty of the bud.
While this plant might have had an attractive look, when we pulled open the vacuum-sealed pouch, we wondered if maybe this bud had been bottled for too long. The flower, itself, had an extremely neutral odor. It was waxy and artificial, reminiscent of freshly-opened boxes of Crayola Crayons from our youth.
While it might have been a pleasant aromatic stroll down memory lane, it’s not usually the fragrance we come to expect from our marijuana. Not unpleasant, just unexpected. Not unwelcome, just uninvited.
Given this strain’s abundantly neutral aroma, we weren’t surprised to find a totally neutral flavor, as we smoked this SoCal White Lightning. The smoke was light and easy to puff on, and there was no bitter aftertaste to blacken our tongue. But there was also no flavor, or substance, to the smoke, at all. It was so clean, it almost tasted like a vape pen (and a bad, flavorless one at that).
Now, obviously, we know that when it comes to marijuana strain names, the grower’s sole goal is to make it sound “as cool as possible.”
That means nobody has really forbade “Forbidden Fruit” and taking “God’s Breath” literally requires a mountainous leap of faith, we get all that. But if you’re going to name your strain after that sweet, sweet white lightning of the bygone bootleg era, then it better pack a bigger punch than this flower did.
We found this Hybrid to be so mild, we were wondering if we had been sold a false “bill of bud.” The more we smoked, however, the more we started to gradually feel its effects. It’s a heavy-leaning Sativa Hybrid, meaning we felt more calmed, than stoned.
Our experience with SoCal White Lightning was not great, but that might not be the flower’s fault. We fell for the promise of a flashy (and ultimately meaningless) name that raised our expectations to a level that the plant, itself, failed to meet. What we wound up with was a mild, Sativa-dominant strain that gave us a calm, relaxed feeling that would be great for anxiety, aches, or pains.
It wasn’t what we wanted and, in a way, we were disappointed by it.
We were all-around disappointed by this trip to Greenhouse Herbal Center. Our online purchase limited our browsing time in-store, and our name-based selection left us feeling caveat emptor. That said, we had a great time at Greenhouse Herbal Center before, and they’ve got a ton of amazing bud to choose from. Sometimes, lackluster strains like this are a fluke. And, while it sucks, it’s no reason to not return to an awesome shop with great products, like Greenhouse Herbal Center.
We might play it safe the next time we return to Greenhouse Herbal Center, but just like James Bond, we will return! No doubt about it.
SoCal White Lightning (Hybrid) - $17/g, $50/8th
5224 Hollywood Blvd.
Hollywood, CA 90027
Phone number: 323-741-0213
Hours: 9am - 9:45pm, 7 days a week
Call us old-fashioned, but we still like going outside to shop for our purchases. While we do shop online when necessary, we prefer the experience of going out into the world. We enjoy the immediacy of getting our purchase instantly into our hands. But it’s 2019, and online retail has extended into the marijuana industry - at least on the local level. Dispensaries, like MedMen and other higher-end, corporate-backed shops, offer their menu online and even allow you to select items for in-store pick ups. One of those stores is Greenhouse Herbal Center. And, in anticipation of our latest trip, we jumped online to check out their website.
After confirming that you are, in fact, over 21 years old, you’ll access the main site with a large video showing a man walking through the plants at a grow operation. We’re not sure how long that video plays, or even what comes next, because we always click on the menu immediately.
The menu page allows you to browse their products by type, with icons along the top of the page. Each of which displays large photos of the product, with the name, type, grower, quantity, and price all clearly listed above the ‘Add to Cart’ button.
However, in our experience, the images were slow to load, and scrolling down revealed more products - but with some delay. Not every image loaded, even when we tried the mobile site. We can forgive a less-than-state-of-the-art website, but without images, our browsing was completely limited to name and strain type alone.
But we were committed to making an online purchase, so we continued scrolling until we got to the end of the product line. At this time, we started to make our decision. Based on name alone, the strain that captivated our attention the most was: SoCal White Lightning. We added the item to our cart and checked out online. This meant our order was to be processed and prepared for an in-store pick-up, at which point we’d then pay for it.
Everything seemed to go right as rain. We received text updates about the progress of our order. First, that it had been received, and then another two minutes later, informing us that our product was ready to be picked up, with the caveat being that it must be collected by 9pm that day.
As for what happens after that, we don’t know.
It was only when we arrived at the store that we realized the error of our ways. Our selection was indeed ready to go, so we stepped in, grabbed our product, paid in cash, then were escorted out mere seconds later.
We had gone through all the ceremony of going out to the store, but didn’t relish in any of the benefits of a physical visit. We didn’t browse, check out the new items, look over the plants, or engage in idle conversation with the budtender. We simply picked something up and left.
That sort of job is meant more for a personal assistant, not a citizen about town, such as ourselves. If that was going to be the whole sum of our experience, we were scratching our heads as to why we didn’t just stay home and order the bud to be delivered. Which is yet another perk of Greenhouse Herbal Center - they deliver!
Our trip might not have been long, but it certainly was efficient. And, at the end of the day, we had our bud, which was the most important part of all. Unfortunately, this whole experience proved to go “downhill” the moment we got home.
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